I messed up the other night. You know, when we were making the Polvorones de Canele?
Not even a month ago, I told y'all about this book I read that was totally inspiring, and how every time we do something for our children that they can do themselves, we are sending them the unintentional message that they are not good enough--that we can do it more efficiently, faster, better.
And I believe that, friends! I so want my kids to learn to do for themselves, because I am not planning on being around to pick up after them, cook their meals, run their errands, and drive them places forever. I want them to know that they are good enough.
But I couldn't help myself. I was annoyed that AKD hadn't been more proactive in making sure he had what he needed for the fiesta, and I wanted those cookies done before Dancing with the Stars began.
{That's right. I watch Dancing with the Stars, and I will be sorely disappointed when it's over for the season. It's the only child-friendly, and even remotely interesting (to me) show that's on Monday evenings. And I must watch TV on Monday evenings so that the laundry will get folded and put away--we're gonna be in bad shape as far as clean clothes go after the finale.}
I literally took the spoon and bowl out of AKD's hands to stir the dough. I kept telling him to get to this step or that step and to hurry up gosh darn it. Never mind that he didn't really need my help at all. He is perfectly capable of reading and preparing a recipe, especially one so simple, on his own. So what if it takes him longer? If his cookies still hadn't been done by bedtime, I could have taken over at that point.
Ugh! I was like a crazy woman, knowing that what I was doing was wrong, but unable to take a step back from the situation.
I just hope, now that it's done, that I can undo the damage. Lord, help me.
I've linked this post up to the Parent 'Hood. Come on over and join us.
I followed your links through and bookmarked that book, because I really need to read it. I am guilty at doing TONS of things for my kids that they could do for themselves for the exact reason you describe here: It's easier.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I also grew up that way. My Mom did everything for us. I left home without knowing how to cook, clean or do my own laundry. To be honest, my Mom tried to teach me all these things at some point; I just had no interest in learning. But she also never stopped doing them for me, which would have forced me to take a little initiative.
Eventually, I learned them and these days, I even enjoy "homemaking." But I need to find a new path for my kids.
haha what timing. I was JUST thinking today.. "It's easier if I do it all myself!" but it doesn't teach the kids to be independent or responsible.
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