Proper Care and Feeding of Your Friendly Neighborhood Yeasts

As you know, if you've been reading, I recently made friendship bread starter.  Last week, I posted this on Facebook:

Judging by the boozy smell and taste of my friendship bread starter, those yeasts are having a GREAT time in there ... consuming sugar, excreting alcohol ... Little do they know they're destined to be EATEN. Party on, yeasty beasties. Five more days...

I've never noticed such a strong smell of alcohol from friendship bread starter.  Those yeasts really know how to party, and they are partying hard.  For days now.  I hope they don't, like, get alcohol poisoning or anything.

Yesterday, as I was standing over the starter after feeding it, stirring for.ev.er trying to get the lumps out, I actually started to feel a little woozy. 

And isn't it fun how woozy and boozy rhyme?  'Cause, I mean, they just go together.

I don't consume a whole lot of alcohol, so I have kind of a low tolerance, but can you get drunk from fumes?  That is some potent stuff.

Anyway, as I was stirring and stirring and feeling woozy and stirring some more, it occurred to me: don't the Amish abstain from alcohol?  Isn't consuming alcohol grounds for exclusion?  Is Amish friendship bread really just a subversive movement among the Plain Women to get their daily dose of CH₃CH₂OH?

Hmmm...

There are still a few small lumps in the yeasty beastie party room, because the fumes, man.  I had to stop stirring.

In conclusion, I would like a plastic whisk please.