Toilet troubles

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We are having toilet troubles at our house.  It's been going on for a while, and we were able to make it work with generous applications of the plunger, but it finally came to a head* a couple of months ago when one of our toilets refused to flush.

We took it apart and cleaned out the trap.  We poured water down the drain.  We poured water down that drain in copious amounts, and it went down ok, so we were sure it was the toilet itself that was the issue and not the waste pipe.

But then we put the toilet back and it's not wanting to flush again.  There is one more thing we need to try before giving up and calling the professionals, but at this point, it's not very useful to us.  Well, me specifically.  No one else seems to be having any trouble, as long as they're flushing only liquids (read: no TP...or anything else!).

On Monday, someone, who shall remain nameless, but I will say it wasn't me, broke one of the hinges that holds the seat onto another of our toilets.  It's still usable, but it's...shall we say...precarious.

We have another toilet, but that's our last one.  If anything happens to that one, we're plumb** outta luck.

Last night, my husband (I am not even joking.  I wish I was) said to me, "maybe we should buy a new toilet and I can use the old one for parts!"

I laughed.  Out loud.  Because, what?!

Now, I'll tell you, I wouldn't mind getting a new toilet or two, because then we'd have working, shiny clean potties in our house (because let's face it: at this point, after years of boys with less than perfect aim using these toilets, no amount of scrubbing will be able to get some of the crusty gunk off).  But there is no way.  Absolutely. No. Way.  That I'm going to let him keep the old one.

Unless he does this.

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The end.

P.S. I think we're going to move the seat from the non-flushing toilet to the broken-hinge toilet.  It's not like anyone is using it over there anyway.  And Hubby's always wanted a urinal.

*Ha ha.  The toilet troubles came to a head.
** I know.  But I couldn't resist.