Making apple pie (in three easy steps)

I'm making apple pies today.  Step one: pick the apples.  Oh, you're wondering how we have any apples left after the whole making gallons of applesauce thing?  We made applesauce with the apples on our "little" tree, which had more, but smaller, apples on it this year.  We did nothing with the apples on the "big" tree, probably because it didn't seem worthwhile to harvest apples that were so far apart.  Yeah, set up the ladder, pick one apple, move the ladder, pick 2, move the ladder, pick one and have another one fall off, precariously close to your head...

Gallons of applesauce.  It's so yum this year.  Sweet and a little tart.
And, randomly, an iron. 
Lest you think I was actually ironing clothes, not to worry--
our iron is for crafting purposes only. 
Kind of like the coffee filters.

Anyway, I had to pick the apples.  But before that, I brought the chickens some fermented food.  Since I'm so efficient (not really, but go with me here), I approached the chicken coop carrying the ladder.  True to form, the chickens freaked out.  Toasty even went into the hen house until the other girls told her it was OK, it was just that crazy chicken lady who brings the food, and I had put the ladder down. 

I wasn't really expecting any eggs this early in the morning.  As I explained, it takes more than 24 hours for an egg to develop, so the egg appears later each day, until the day there isn't one, and the next day, an egg will show up early in the morning again.  So I wasn't expecting any eggs, but I checked the nest box anyway, and found another rubber egg under the roost.  Does this mean Esther is laying and the first one surprised her?  Or does this mean that Toasty Crunch was so freaked out by her human carrying a ladder, that she just had to let that egg go before it was ready?  Let us hope it was the former, 'cause I can't handle never carrying a ladder or rake or shovel in the vicinity of the chicken coop.  I'm kind of waiting patiently for Esther to begin laying, but I really would like to know what color her eggs will be.

I'm using frozen crust for the pies, because they need to be in disposable pans, and why buy disposable pans and then put your own crust in, when for less than a dollar more, you can buy disposable pans pre-filled with crust (this reminds me of the egg carton thing)?  As I went through the checkout lane with my turnips, potatoes, and pie crust, the cashier queried, "making pumpkin pie?"  No.  I am not making anything at this time.  I am, however, buying pie crust, turnips, and potatoes, lady (oh, I guess that means I'm making a purchase).  What's it to you?

Why?  Why would you go there first?  Pumpkin?  Apples are in season, too.  If anything, she should have been wondering if I was making turnip or potato pie.  Of course, based on the number of apples I was able to get (possibly not enough), I might be making pumpkin pie, too.  But that is most definitely beside the point.

Maybe.  The answer is maybe, lady, ok?   And yes, friends, I know the cashier was just making conversation.  Whatever. 

I'm using my friend's apple pie recipe.  I asked her for it last year, when she mentioned making pies (using free apples and store-bought pie crust) and selling them.  She texted me a picture of a recipe card: "Grandma Opal's Apple Pie," it said.  Oh, how sweet, I thought.  KT's making apple pie from the recipe handed down from her grandma.  I wish I had my grandma's apple pie recipe.  Well, actually, maybe I don't.  I don't remember my grandma ever making a pie.

But no.  In the next text message, KT shattered my fantasy, "truth be told, I don't have a Grandma Opal.  It was the recipe on allrecipes.com that had the most reviews."

Alrighty then.  At least now I don't have to feel bad about not having my Grandma's pie recipe.  And actually, the recipe card KT sent me bears only a passing resemblance to the recipe posted on allrecipes. 

Apparently, step 2 in the apple pie making process is blogging about it.  Blogging is, after all, one of my favorite chore avoidance techniques.  Not that making apple pie is a chore, but peeling, coring, and chopping apples for the pie is.  I'm trying to decide if I think it's worthwhile to get out our peeler/corer/slicer for 12 apples.  And, you know, writing about it helps.  Or at least delays the decision.

The boys, peeling, coring, and slicing apples. 
Wish they were here now...

But, I think I need to get going, because my feet are cold.  And it's not like I can close the window or put socks or slippers on.  I need to get away from the open window so my feet will not be cold.

Step 3: make the pies.  Just Grandma Opal and me.  In the kitchen.  Here I go.

Maybe.