Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Course...for Life

Last spring, inspired by my friend MomoftheWildThings, who has two heathens, aged 10 and 12, I started putting together an outline for a very special class with the working title:

15 (or however many I come up with) No-Brainer Tasks
That You Need To Know How To Do
Because Your Mama Is Not Going To Be Around Forever
To Do Them For You
Because there are things that our children will need to know how to do as adults, and we've discovered that their education seems to be lacking in some of these key areas.

And now, for your perusal,
The Course for Life
(special thank you to my facebook friends
Cathy, MomoftheWildThings, The Helpful Boy Scout, and KD
for helping with class session development)
The bathroom section:
  • No one wants to be caught with their pants down: changing the TP roll (MotWT) and its cousin the paper towel roll
  •  *What* is that smell?: How to flush the toilet (yes, every time)
  • I love you, but you stink: why personal hygiene matters

The laundry section:
  • Dirty clothes go IN the hamper, and yes, socks are clothes too (KD)
  • No, I will not buy you new underwear: How to use the washing machine (Cathy)

The general cleaning section:
  • Dust Bunnies do not make good pets: How to use and put away the vacuum (MotWT)
  • That is not a massive pile of blankets raised off of the floor: How to make your bed (MotWT)
  • Please take a moment to locate the trash can closest to you. Keep in mind that the closest trash receptacle may be located behind you... : How to identify, pick up, and dispose of trash

The kitchen section:
  • Do not wave that thing at me: how to (properly) use a knife (and other sharp things) (tHBS)
  • How not to starve: basic cooking skills
  • You are not starving: food does not materialize out of thin air (consisting of:  No, we are not out of peanut butter: where to find the pantry;  So you used the last of peanut butter: how to write it on the list; Yes, we are out of peanut butter: where to find the grocery store)
  • Manners matter: how not to fart at the dining table
  • The dishwasher won't bite: how to load your dirty dishes

The general life skills section:
  • No, we do not live in The Ark, nor do we wish to invite 2 of every known insect to live with us: How to close the door (MotWT)
  • The importance of staying warm: No, it won't kill you to wear a coat...but it might kill you not to.
  • Money does not grow on trees: how to balance your checkbook (and refrain from spending every cent you obtain immediately so there's actually something to balance) (this might have to be a whole separate class...)

And there you have it.  The Course for Life.  Each hour-long session will consist of a pre-test, lecture, and hands-on practice in our fully equipped lab environment, ending with a proficiency exam--children will not progress until they have mastered the topic of each class session.  By the end of the 16 week course, your children will be proficient in all of these tasks.  The final exam, which will consist of a real home environment in disarray, presenting random challenges from among the topics taught, will be given, by appointment, in December.  I will be working on lesson plans over the summer and hope to offer the first session beginning in September.

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