Thursday, May 12, 2016

Spreading cheer

Y'all know I'm a mystery shopper--that means I go into businesses anonymously and evaluate customer service and adherence to policies.  My very favorite assignment is shipping shops.  I actually get paid, on top of being reimbursed for my out of pocket shipping cost, to ship packages.  So. Much. Fun.

One of the requirements for these shops is that the box needs to weigh a certain amount.  This has led to me shipping some pretty random things, just to get up to the weight I need.  I sent a box of baking soda to my mama one time.  And my sis is used to me telling her she can recycle or give away or whatever she wants to do with the stuff I send her.  Her kids, by the way, are convinced that Aunt Scarlet gives the best gifts.  I guess they enjoy random?

AKD bought himself a GPS watch not too long ago, and it decided to stop connecting to satellites.  Since connecting to satellites is kind of important to the GPS function, that's kind of a problem.  The watch is under warrenty, so he contacted the company to ask what he should do.  They told him to ship the watch back and they would either fix it or send him a new one.

Meanwhile, I was assigned a couple of these shipping shop assignments, and decided, rather than paying to ship that watch back, I'd like to be paid.

So yesterday, AKD printed out the required paperwork, while I found a box and started adjusting the weight.  I was going to send them baking soda, but AKD thought that would be too weird, so we settled on rocks.  Four rocks in a ziplock bag.  Perfect.  Yeah, because baking soda is weird.

Next I needed packing material, but somehow, we didn't have any newsprint in the house.  I really don't know how this can be, since I'm saving it to suppress weeds in my garden.  So looking around for expendable paper, I decided to use the last of the homemade Christmas wrapping paper that Bubby and I painted in December.

So the watch and rocks were packed securely.  Now all we needed was packaging tape.  Except we ran out of packaging tape...oh, four months ago...and I haven't gotten around to buying any more.  What we do have is snowflake tape.

Oh yes, we do.  And oh yes, I did.

As we stood in the kitchen, taping up the package and addressing it, AKD started to giggle.  Imagine, if you will, a box, sent to a business's customer service department.  A box wrapped in snowflake tape.  A box containing, not just the merchandise to be fixed or replaced, but also hand painted Christmas wrapping paper...and four rocks.  

We're gonna make somebody's day, he said.  I can guarantee you, they have never received a box sealed with snowflake tape...with rocks in it.

I'm pretty sure he's right.  This is the stuff of legend right here.  This box is going to be talked about in the breakroom for ages.

We are absolutely doing a good deed today.  That's us, spreading cheer, one malfunctioning watch at a time.  You're welcome, world.

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