Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Summer 2018, Part 5

Hi friends.

Sorry I've been neglecting you.  One of the podcasts to which I listen is Organize 365.  And one of the things Lisa talks about is that she divides her year into three parts, each with a "new year," with new goals.  I've talked about how for people associated with the school system, the beginning of school is more of a new year than January 1.  Same concept.  Her year-parts begin in January, May, and September.  Another thing Lisa says about her year-parts is that they always begin super-organized and dissolve into chaos by the end.

That is what has happened here.  My summer year-part started organized with all kinds of plans and schemes, and has devolved into chaos.  And I am still there, in the chaos, because school hasn't started yet.  We're having the longest summer ever, thanks to the ongoing construction in our school district.

A week ago, I left my first baby in a place where they don't know him, and could never love him as well as me.  I know he is ready.  I know he will find his way.  I have always known that this day was coming.  That doesn't make it any easier to bear.  I cry, not for him, but for me.  I miss him.  And I know that our relationship will never be the same.  He will always be my baby, but he is not a child anymore.  My heart aches with sweet memories of the boy he was and the time we shared.  I guess I just need to grieve a little longer before my heart is ready to accept the new sweet memories that are sure to come.

So that's why I've been neglecting you.  Chaos and grief.  There is still chaos; there is still grief.  But I'm back.  I think.

As a result of the chaos, I lost my enthusiasm for taking pictures to share with you.  But here's what I have.  Love ya.  Talk to you soon.

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