When last we met, the Bluefield household was looking high and low and everywhere in between for the elusive Eli Manning.
We checked at the library, but despite the fact that Tom Brady and Clay Matthews were hanging out in the children's section, Eli Manning was nowhere to be found.
Disappointed, I headed home. Taking my sis, Buckwheat's, advice, I started calling loudly, "come out, come out, wherever you are," all over the house. He remained in hiding, and meanwhile, we started racking up overdue fees at the library (can you believe they wouldn't let us just pay for Eli Manning? They said they would bill us in about 5 weeks. Five weeks! Do they seriously think that I could bear to have a book overdue for 5 long weeks?).
I had given up hope when we spotted him in Hawaii, snapping the ball and talking to Drew like he hadn't a care in the world, like he wasn't the cause of us racking up an appalling ten cents a day in fines while he was gallivanting around in the surf and sunshine. I mean honestly, if he was going to go to Hawaii, the least he could have done was take us with him.
Yesterday, I headed up to the school to check MC's desk and book box once again. I figured if he could manage to get out of our house to Hawaii without being seen, he sure as heck could have wandered over to the school and shoved himself in a desk. No luck.
Then today, I finally did what I should have done in the first place, which was bribe AKD. It could be that the two of them were in cahoots from the start, seeing how much cash they could squeeze out of me, but at this point, I don't really care. AKD found him calmly sitting on MC's bookshelf. I have no idea how he managed to sneak back in here after the Probowl, but there he was, in the very same place that I had already checked countless times.
Anyway, tonight Eli is back safe and sound at the library, hanging with his crew in the 790s, and believe me when I tell you, Mr. Manning will not be invited back to our home.
Of course now we're entertaining the entire Minnesota Vikings team. Here we go again...