Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Psycho cannibal chickens

Remember how I said I'm taking care of a friend's chickens for a week or two?  I've really been enjoying it.  My friend says that she finds caring for the chickens to be almost meditative, and I can see what she means.  They don't ask for much--just food, clean water, and a safe place to call home.  And in return they provide companionship, entertainment, and fresh, delicious eggs.  I've been bonding with the girls, and I thought they felt a connection to me as well.  On a deeper level.

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Imagine my shock and horror when I stopped in to see the girls this morning and discovered that they had eaten one of their eggs!  I kind of think of chickens as docile, unassuming creatures with simple needs and simple appetites.  I never, in a million years, expected them to turn into cannibals!

I texted my friend for advice.  Should I take drastic measures?  I wasn't sure what those drastic measures would entail, but I knew there had to be something I should do. I mean, cannibalism.

Her response?  It happens.  Don't worry about it.

Well, OK.

THEY ATE THEIR OWN EGG!

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OK, breathe, just ... breathe...

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that chickens are so fierce, with so little regard for the sanctity of life, so little respect for chickmanity, and that they're, well, psycho cannibals, considering they're dinosaurs.  I mean, everyone knows dinosaurs are fierce.  And like to eat their young.  And hardly anyone holds it against them, the fierceness, the young-eating.  It's just the way they are.

Oh, chickens!  You have shattered, destroyed, annihilated, even, my idyllic, pastoral chicken-raising fantasy.  I don't know if I can forgive you for that.


And speaking of dinosaurs, I know you've been waiting for me to get back to you on the whole Everything You Need to Know About Snakes and Other Scaly Reptiles thing.  Well, I've read the whole book, and now I know everything I need to know about snakes and other scaly reptiles.  And what I know is, there's too much that one needs to know about snakes and other scaly reptiles for me to tell it all to you in this blog.  So you're gonna have to go get your own copy and read it yourself.

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