Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Quarantine Quotes

*Disclaimer: what our family is experiencing is not quarantine.  It's just that Quarantine Quotes sounds a little snappier than Safer-at-Home Quotes, so that's what we're going with.

We decided fairly early on in our state's Safer at Home initiative that we needed to keep track of the funny things we said.  And now, since school is done for the summer, and most of us who are spending time at home would have been spending time at home anyway at this point, we're done keeping track.  We needed to immortalize them somehow, and saving pieces of paper makes me itchy, so I'm putting them out into the world electronically, for all time.

For your reading pleasure, I present: Bluefield Family Quarantine (Safer at Home) Quotes.

  • I could lick the condensation; maybe it tastes like chicken. --Bubby
  • I'm older than the Hubble Space Telescope. --Bubby
  • You couldn't bike away from an armadillo.  --Bubby
  • That's why we need a complicated latch: so the octopii can't get in. --Scarlet
  • Cody's not going to lay an egg. --Scarlet
  • Scarlet: Did you change your underwear? Unnamed child: I didn't know you wanted it done right away!
  • I usually like throwing up. --Sawblock
  • I need a ... grass chunk. --AKD
  • How am I supposed to go poop without making loud noises? --Bubby
  • I can get naked all day long! --Sawblock
  • I can store more hair on my head. --Bubby
  • Are you ok? Avocados are dangerous! --Scarlet
  • He's preheating his rock! --AKD
  • Sawblock: Ooooh.  I just thought of an idea. Scarlet: Does it involve chickens?  AKD: And a zipline!
  • Don't point the strawberry at your mother's eye. --Sawblock
  • Is she ... touching ... the avocados? --Bubby
  • No.  If you walk up to somebody, they're going to notice you have three legs. --Bubby
  • Do our shoes like alcohol? --Bubby
I feel like most of these definitely fall under the you-had-to-be-there category, but anyway, hope you got at least one chuckle out of our list.

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