Wednesday, January 7, 2015

I have nothing to say

You all know that episode of Arthur?  OK, right there I lost half of you.  It's an animated series on PBS.  Based on characters created by Marc Brown

Did you know that for the first 5 years of my mommy-hood, we did not get broadcast network television?  No ABC, no CBS, no NBC, no FOX.  We missed years of Survivor.  Went through withdrawal from ER.  No local news or weather.  But what we did have was PBS.  Our favorites from that time?  Cyberchase, Zaboomafoo, Zoom.  Ah, the memories.

Anyway, there's this episode of Arthur where there is a fire at school and the kids have to evacuate.  The kids all react in different ways.  Sue Ellen, who is an adventurer and writer, loses her journal to the fire.  Her friend Muffy tries to cheer her up in the way Muffy knows best, by buying her a super deluxe, top of the line, expensive monogramed journal.  But Sue Ellen is not having it.  For days on end all she writes in her fancy new journal is... "I have nothing to say." 

Each new day, a new page, "I have nothing to say."  Because for Sue Ellen, it's not about the journal.  It's about the memories contained in those pages.  It's about the knowledge that life is ephemeral and fragile.

Eventually, Sue Ellen finds a scrap of a postcard that had been pasted into her old journal and on the strength of that hope, begins to write again.

These days, I feel a little like Sue Ellen.  I have nothing to say.

Nothing, that is, I feel like you would want to read.  But I want to write.  So I will.  Even if it's to write, "I have nothing to say."

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