Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Not helpful: an update

Last week, I asked for your advice in dealing with a situation.  Most of your responses (OK, all of your responses) advised me to go around or above Ms. Counselor in seeking resolution.  I just keep thinking about this:

If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love.

Matthew 18:15-17 (The Message)

It's in the Bible for a reason.  Jesus knew that humans have conflict over stuff all the time.  And He gave us a model to follow to resolve those conflicts.  It's divinely inspired, and it works.  So that's why I say I know what I should do, I just don't know if I am able to do it effectively.  I know, I know, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me," (Phillipians 4:13) even this.

While none of you came right out and asked, I know that you're wondering just what the situation is. Well, we believe that MC may have sensory processing disorder or/and a mild form of autism. I hate to label, but unfortunately, in most cases, labels are what is needed to get help. He is highly functioning, and probably would be OK with no treatment, but his life could be much less anxiety-provoking with treatment, and I can't not try.  I'd hate to limit him his potential because we didn't do everything we could to help with his issues.

Some of you wondered what Hubby's take on this whole situation is.  I mean, after all, we're a team in parenting these three children.  Hubby is supportive, but I don't think he understands what all the fuss is about (for instance, he thinks MC can control his behaviors and frequently tells him to do just that), and he certainly doesn't realize how worried and upset I am.  And besides, for some reason, the powers that be (a.k.a. Mrs. Teacher and Ms. Counselor) have decided that I'm the best one to communicate with about this situation.  Always the mama gets to deal with the hard stuff.

It turns out I inadvertently took your advice to go around Ms. Counselor.  I was chatting with Mrs. Teacher and she asked me if the information Ms. Counselor had provided had been helpful.  I hesitated, because I wanted to follow the Biblical model and go to Ms. Counselor first, but honestly told Mrs. Teacher that she hadn't really given us any information and our meeting hadn't been helpful {oh, yeah, and I started crying, too. Note to self--toughen up.  Or carry Kleenex on person at all times}.

The next day, I got a call from Ms. Counselor, suggesting a new course of action.  Or excuse me, suggesting a course of action, since she never suggested one in the first place.  In the next couple of weeks, an OT who works in the district will be coming in to observe MC and to help us figure out what to do next.  I'm pleased with this development, and hopeful, but I feel bitter that this wasn't suggested a month ago.

Guess I need to take another piece of advice from the Word: "bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13). 

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